Wanna chat??

Conversations...hmmm.. they are of so many kinds: casual, hurried, thought-provoking, informal, reminiscing, informative, advising, heart-to-heart.. of varying degrees, of varying form and content. Emotions, intellect, opinions, experience and views may all be put to good use in a single conversation. Today, when we have no dearth of communication channels to use, people must be so much more in touch-with their friends, new and old, immediate family and relatives. Right? Sorry folks. I beg to differ.

Conversations -their nature and scope -have definitely changed. They have definitely become slicker, faster, smoother and multi-channeled. Just look at the range of channels we use now. Gone are the days when one had to worry about outstation phone bills! Just like a popular advertisement featuring Priyanka Chopra says, "My phone is who I am!" Some of us believe we are defined by the latest models and gadgets that we carry. But where the quality of conversation goes, it is merely casual and barely skims the surface. Humor shall off course make you laugh, but it is also so momentary, with a low shell life. And it shall never let you get close to a person.

What about the value of these conversation? Hasn't it, somewhere down our busy, chaotic lives, become rusty and dusty -taken out from the shelf only in dire need or used liberally only to get things done? Where have those days gone when we would chat for hours over just a cuppa, talking about inconsequential things, and still feel we could have gone along for hours? When was the last time you felt glad of having a good conversation, where you poured your heart out and felt so close with that person? It doesn't matter who that person is -your spouse, partner, a friend or relative. I have lost touch with many a people because of lack of good conversations.

What is a good conversation for you? For me, it would be something that makes me think and makes me connect with the other person. It is a platform where I am meeting the other person at an equal footing.The last heart to heart conversation I had was yesterday, with a dear friend of mine. And it felt damn good! And I began to wonder what's stopping us to have more conversations such as these? How come we do not spend enough time conversing with people? For the lines of privacy have become even stronger, deeply carved today. Conversations are even perceived as intrusive by many I know and they would do anything to avoid them, either consciously or unconsciously.

It takes good conversations to bond with people.. Some of the best moments of life have been spent conversing with people. Thanks to those conversations, I made some really close friends, I have fallen in love with my partner and connect with certain members of my family. And it takes good conversations to sustain these relationships as well. Because each of us is growing, changing, adapting -good conversations help us to hang onto these people, while those conversations have just as matured!

This post is an ode to all those conversations I had with you. And you know who you are! Looking forward to chat again... ;-)

When parents grow...

What a strange title you might say, but parents too grow. They grow when they realize in life how their children have grown. When they begin to see you as individuals.

It is true circumstances force you to look at people in a new light. Recently, my parents came visiting for a couple of weeks. And it was enlightening for all of us. It was an entirely new feeling for me, and for them, to see that the tide has turned. I was pampering them for a change. But the feelings were mixed. Just as much as I realized how much I enjoyed giving them a royal treatment, I question myself with guilt, what had stopped me to do so earlier. Distance does make close relationships go stronger I believe.

They seemed frail this time around when I saw them. Both have lost weight I think. Time has left its marks on them I think. They are still the same people (in spirit). Mom is still obsessed with showering her love on us via food and Dad now has a new fixation –Sudoku. But something had changed in our equation this time round. Both realized (finally) that I have grown, that I am managing a house on my own and generally working my way out in an alien city. They do not doubt my capabilities. I would have managed to do so anytime in my life, if given the opportunity. But as they say, they needed to see in order to believe. I feel a sense of pride in them for me and I am glad I could give them both moments of joy and some quality time.

We think parents shall always be around. We seem to believe they are permanent fixtures and shall always be just a phone call away. But I wish we all value them enough to spend quality time with them. Off course, you have your independent life too. But nothing shall give them greater joy to hear your voice or feel your hug.

So what’s stopping you? Go surprise them with an unexpected gesture. Do something quirky. You all shall cherish later, I promise.

A meaningful life

Sometimes I feel I am living a rather small life… significant no doubt, but small. I would like to live more, be more, reach out to more people and nurture more the existing relationships. My personal and professional relationships are, no doubt, meaningful to me, but at the same time, I would like to do more.

When I try to think what could add more meaning to my life, I can think of the following:

Begin a new hobby
Learn a new language
Travel more
Spend more time with people, who matter
Dance
Write more
Do something creative
Meet more people
Make more friends
Nurture existing relationships
Watch plays
Exercise more
Eat healthy
Engage in conversations that would make me think
Earn enough so that I can do all these

It seems we all run after some goal of the other, thinking, “XYZ will surely make me happy….” But what about being happy in the present… in the here and now? So what is really stopping me to do all these things anyways? What am I waiting for?

At the same time, I AM grateful for all that I have been given in life. I have been most times of my life… for the friends I have had and for all the experiences of love (be it any and every relationship).

Gratitude is what I feel as currently as I write. I accept all I have been given, the good, the bad and the ugly. I accept and I move on. At the same time, I know I shall consciously and unconsciously work towards making life more meaningful, not only for me but for the people who surround me as well. A romantic thought? I do not know. And I am not bothered.

Birthday 'bumps'

28?? Oh my God! Its a crazy figure.. suddenly making me realize that the big three-oh is not that far now. But I wonder why should it make so much of a difference? Almost as if a clock is clicking somewhere in my mind and the alarm is just about to set off!! Sounds like a nightmare really and it probably would be... however much I claim the thirties to be a graceful age. Why did I ever feel that I shall always be 25?? And why should it matter? And why do I still feel 25, like life has just started to become more settled and I do not want to rock the boat! Where did all these years go anyway?? And how?

Time. Quietly slipping away while I was looking elsewhere. And mocking me for not noticing her while she was. Am glad this moment is freezed here for some time to come. So that when this post goes into archives, I can still look back and believe I did all that I could and more. A timely reminder to enjoy the moment now and stop worrying! For when we are worrying, we only consume what's ahead of us, of the unknown, of what's not even happened.

And time will never slip away then. But 'present' in any moment I choose to look around.