Mumbai is grieving, along with the rest of India. Who knew a group of merely 15 men could not only bring the whole city to a standstill, but could kill people, more than 350 and injure much more, so effortlessly and with such lack of emotion. Who could think they could bring resources and ammunition in such manner and with such ease? Where are those politicians now? And what sense of duty have they shown? If they did have one, they would have simply resigned. Where are Bal Thackeray and the MNS activists? "It is a big city, and these things happen." Says the Maharashtra Deputy Chief Minister, R.R. Patil. “They had plans to kill more than 5000 people…” He goes on. As if, it’s an achievement they killed a mere 300(!).
My heart bleeds to think of the trauma thousands of people must have gone through. I feel the same dread I'd have felt if a group of strangers would have walked in into my home and violated my space. I too am grieving like the rest of Mumbai. I don’t know how to express this helpless anger, except may be through this post. All I have done for the past 48 hours is being glued to the television and the newspapers. At one point it seemed like a Bollywood flick, but a never-ending one. But all the more bone-chilling because it was all very much real. The eerie silence and tension on the Mumbai roads (even in Dadar) the day after was very real.
The trauma of the family and friends who have lost their loved ones and of those who were stuck in their rooms for hours is something beyond me. I cannot even begin to think of the terror the staff must have felt, and yet, they were driven by their sense of duty to protect their guests. The terror of those who were stuck in their hotel rooms for hours and hours, with only tap water to drink, and may be, some tidbits to eat (and may be not even that). The uncertainty of death looming in corridors and of not knowing which room it shall knock. Of being marooned in their rooms for hours, with hopes of being rescued, but ending being charred to death. Of being reunited with families after some gruelling hours, of not knowing whether he or she will live.
The death toll is now slowly coming in. The official figure says a 183 currently. But they were more than just a number. They were individuals who were not supposed to die. Not like this. Least like this. And they left in their wake their families who would continue to be haunted by frantic text messages and whispered pleas of help. My heart goes out to them.
And then there were individuals who gave up their lives on the line of fire, that is, the security forces. Literally so. Police officers, firemen, National Security Guards and army men who did not return. I salute them. I salute their courage. And I salute the hotel staff who thought first of their guests and then of themselves, if at all. I salute the ordinary man who came out of his or her home to help those on duty.
I have seen many acts of terror in the past and every time it happens, I cannot get used to it, cannot accept it, lying low, irrespective of its degree or form. But this form of terror seems to leave me strangely helpless and yet frustrated and angry. The only way we can do justice to the sacrifices is by not forgetting it, by not wiping it off public memory.
I know it has been permanently etched on mine.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A meaningful life
Sometimes I feel I am living a rather small life… significant no doubt, but small. I would like to live more, be more, reach out to more people and nurture more the existing relationships. My personal and professional relationships are, no doubt, meaningful to me, but at the same time, I would like to do more.
When I try to think what could add more meaning to my life, I can think of the following:
Begin a new hobby
Learn a new language
Travel more
Spend more time with people, who matter
Dance
Write more
Do something creative
Meet more people
Make more friends
Nurture existing relationships
Watch plays
Exercise more
Eat healthy
Engage in conversations that would make me think
Earn enough so that I can do all these
It seems we all run after some goal of the other, thinking, “XYZ will surely make me happy….” But what about being happy in the present… in the here and now? So what is really stopping me to do all these things anyways? What am I waiting for?
At the same time, I AM grateful for all that I have been given in life. I have been most times of my life… for the friends I have had and for all the experiences of love (be it any and every relationship).
Gratitude is what I feel as currently as I write. I accept all I have been given, the good, the bad and the ugly. I accept and I move on. At the same time, I know I shall consciously and unconsciously work towards making life more meaningful, not only for me but for the people who surround me as well. A romantic thought? I do not know. And I am not bothered.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Birthday 'bumps'
28?? Oh my God! Its a crazy figure.. suddenly making me realize that the big three-oh is not that far now. But I wonder why should it make so much of a difference? Almost as if a clock is clicking somewhere in my mind and the alarm is just about to set off!! Sounds like a nightmare really and it probably would be... however much I claim the thirties to be a graceful age. Why did I ever feel that I shall always be 25?? And why should it matter? And why do I still feel 25, like life has just started to become more settled and I do not want to rock the boat! Where did all these years go anyway?? And how?
Time. Quietly slipping away while I was looking elsewhere. And mocking me for not noticing her while she was. Am glad this moment is freezed here for some time to come. So that when this post goes into archives, I can still look back and believe I did all that I could and more. A timely reminder to enjoy the moment now and stop worrying! For when we are worrying, we only consume what's ahead of us, of the unknown, of what's not even happened.
And time will never slip away then. But 'present' in any moment I choose to look around.
Time. Quietly slipping away while I was looking elsewhere. And mocking me for not noticing her while she was. Am glad this moment is freezed here for some time to come. So that when this post goes into archives, I can still look back and believe I did all that I could and more. A timely reminder to enjoy the moment now and stop worrying! For when we are worrying, we only consume what's ahead of us, of the unknown, of what's not even happened.
And time will never slip away then. But 'present' in any moment I choose to look around.
Respect women
I am a feminist. And it has taken me years of denial, introspection, acceptance, frustration, compromises, adjustments, revelations and discussions to reach such a conclusion. But this particular revelation took its time to come, but when it did, it became a paradigm shift. Not in terms of radical changes and more in terms of my own way of looking at things. I suddenly became more aware of all incidences and treatments, the unjust, the subtle and not-so-subtle.
Feminism means different things for different people. That is the beauty of the word. It takes from the experiences and struggles of millions of anonymous women across the globe. And it becomes visible by handful of them, by those who have the means to come under public gaze. For me, feminism means the ability to choose and to make my own decisions as a woman and to respect self. The first step is to accept that you can be and have been discriminated. And this can take time. Feminism means being aware of the subtle, unconcious and conscious, discrimination against you in day-to-day existence, across time, geography and contexts. It means using various strategies to counter them as well.
I’d be staying in an ideal world, if my being a feminist would not have repercussions in my personal life. What disturbs me most is when I see women in my life being treated, if not harshly, but with disrespect. Disrespect for women is something I cannot tolerate.
But what does disrespecting women mean? It means making a woman feel humilated for who she is. In most cases, the incidences are so subtle, that the differences (along the line of gender) arise almost unconsciously in day to day conversations and all relationships. Irrespective of whether it’s a brother-sister duo, mother and daughter, father and daughter, employer –employee, husband and wife, woman and in-laws, male and female colleagues, male and female friends, and other permutations and combinations.
Many people feel that women too often act against women. In such cases it is important to see the context in which this happens, that is, whether in a household or the workplace. In most cases, women become victims of the power politics which usually carries on in the respective contexts. A woman stands against another woman usually because both are vying for the same goal, for instance, male attention, resources, time, standing in the family and so on. And yes, families are definitely a seat of much politics. It is a definitely a disturbing thought, but it is also true. Family gossips are one of the major, supposedly harmless, manifestations of this politics. We all might belie the K-serials, but what usually happens in real life is even worse than the sagas!
Most families do not accept their daughters as individuals, who can think on and of their own. But that’s a different story (and a different post) altogether. A daughter-in-law in such a context would stand somewhere further in the queue, depending on the position/ standing of her husband (in that family) though. Mothers who are otherwise liberal and would like to see their daughters working would also want them to conform to traditional customs and rituals.
Most men I know would claim they generally respect women. They would probably never force themselves on a woman, would not raise their hand and would not deny them of any resources deliberately or put a woman down. But most men (and even women) are also not aware of the sexism so prevalent in their language/ the jokes/ communication skills/ even in terms of expectations. It becomes evident when you do not give the woman in your life enough choices or a say in the decision. For some women, the disrespect shown by a husband is fine, as long as it is not in front of the immediate or extended family. Is such humiliation justified?? I would think not.
Don’t get me wrong though. I do like men and a lot! But may be it’s time for them to learn to respect women (for who we are), to accept the responsibilities of home as well, and to rear their sons and daughters more similarly rather than differently. It is also time for mothers to raise their sons differently!
Feminism means different things for different people. That is the beauty of the word. It takes from the experiences and struggles of millions of anonymous women across the globe. And it becomes visible by handful of them, by those who have the means to come under public gaze. For me, feminism means the ability to choose and to make my own decisions as a woman and to respect self. The first step is to accept that you can be and have been discriminated. And this can take time. Feminism means being aware of the subtle, unconcious and conscious, discrimination against you in day-to-day existence, across time, geography and contexts. It means using various strategies to counter them as well.
I’d be staying in an ideal world, if my being a feminist would not have repercussions in my personal life. What disturbs me most is when I see women in my life being treated, if not harshly, but with disrespect. Disrespect for women is something I cannot tolerate.
But what does disrespecting women mean? It means making a woman feel humilated for who she is. In most cases, the incidences are so subtle, that the differences (along the line of gender) arise almost unconsciously in day to day conversations and all relationships. Irrespective of whether it’s a brother-sister duo, mother and daughter, father and daughter, employer –employee, husband and wife, woman and in-laws, male and female colleagues, male and female friends, and other permutations and combinations.
Many people feel that women too often act against women. In such cases it is important to see the context in which this happens, that is, whether in a household or the workplace. In most cases, women become victims of the power politics which usually carries on in the respective contexts. A woman stands against another woman usually because both are vying for the same goal, for instance, male attention, resources, time, standing in the family and so on. And yes, families are definitely a seat of much politics. It is a definitely a disturbing thought, but it is also true. Family gossips are one of the major, supposedly harmless, manifestations of this politics. We all might belie the K-serials, but what usually happens in real life is even worse than the sagas!
Most families do not accept their daughters as individuals, who can think on and of their own. But that’s a different story (and a different post) altogether. A daughter-in-law in such a context would stand somewhere further in the queue, depending on the position/ standing of her husband (in that family) though. Mothers who are otherwise liberal and would like to see their daughters working would also want them to conform to traditional customs and rituals.
Most men I know would claim they generally respect women. They would probably never force themselves on a woman, would not raise their hand and would not deny them of any resources deliberately or put a woman down. But most men (and even women) are also not aware of the sexism so prevalent in their language/ the jokes/ communication skills/ even in terms of expectations. It becomes evident when you do not give the woman in your life enough choices or a say in the decision. For some women, the disrespect shown by a husband is fine, as long as it is not in front of the immediate or extended family. Is such humiliation justified?? I would think not.
Don’t get me wrong though. I do like men and a lot! But may be it’s time for them to learn to respect women (for who we are), to accept the responsibilities of home as well, and to rear their sons and daughters more similarly rather than differently. It is also time for mothers to raise their sons differently!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
